OKAY, GROOMERS: Federal Court Rules Maryland Parents Can’t Opt Kids Out Of Classes With LGBT Content.

THE SCORPION IS STILL A SCORPION AND A FROG IS STILL A FROG: No, left-leaning bully Andrew Cuomo hasn’t suddenly changed his spots.

NEO: Mitt Romney: Biden should have pardoned Trump.

Romney added:

… [H]ad I been President Biden, when the Justice Department brought on indictments, I would have immediately pardoned him. I’d have pardoned President Trump. Why? Well, because it makes me, President Biden, the big guy and the person I pardoned a little guy.

So Romney, when you voted to convict Trump after he’d been impeached on bogus charges, did you do it because you thought it made you the big guy or the little guy? My answer is “the little guy.” What’s yours?

Is there a worse case of Stockholm Syndrome in American politics than Romney, who was utterly destroyed by the DNC-MSM in 2012, and yet always comes crawling back to them, futility seeking redemption from a group of self-styled elites who hate him? Or as Steve wrote on Thursday, “This is where I’d like to grab Romney by the lapel of his suitcoat, pull his face so close to mine I could see my reflection in his Brylcreem, and shout, ‘THE BIDEN WHITE HOUSE IS BEHIND ALL THIS, YOU PREENING NINNY.’ And then his security would come and beat me to a pulp, which is exactly why I try not to go to Washington except when I must.”

WHY WOULD THEY DEPRIVE PEOPLE OF TIKTOK’S WISDOM?

@didyousayjenn #stitch with @Jordon Bearb #tiktok #mri #wtf #hilarious ♬ original sound – DidyousayJenn

OPEN THREAD: Happy Friday.

THE NEW SPACE RACE: Blue Origin will launch these 6 passengers May 19, on its 1st crewed mission since 2022.

SO BY BANNING MENTHOL CIGARETTES, BIDEN IS CONDEMNING BLACK PEOPLE TO DEMENTIA: Unexpected Connection Between Menthol And Alzheimer’s Discovered in Mice. “It seems the chemical compound can stop some of the damage done to the brain that’s usually associated with the disease.”

IS THERE ANYTHING AI CAN’T DO? AI-Powered Fusion: The Key to Limitless Clean Energy.

RIP: Dabney Coleman, comic actor best known for villainous 9 to 5 and Tootsie roles, dead at 92.

GET WOKE, GO BROKE: Plant-based meat alternatives are trying to exit the culture wars – an impossible task?

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE: ‘Doctor Who’ Actor Tells Viewers To ‘Turn Off The TV’ If They Don’t Like Him – Viewership Drops By 50%.

Get woke, go broke. But they never learn.

CHRIS QUEEN: Brave Cops Target That Criminal Mastermind Scottie Scheffler. “Scottie Scheffler is the number-one golfer on the PGA tour. He’s the reigning Masters champion and the favorite to win this weekend’s PGA Championship. He’s a devout Christian, a devoted husband, and a new father. And thanks to the intrepid work of the Louisville, Ky., Police Department, whose officers totally didn’t overreact, he now faces four charges, including one felony.”

BREAKING: David DePape Sentenced to 30 Years in Prison for Attacking Nancy Pelosi’s Husband.

WHEEL TO WHEEL: Rematch! Tesla Cybertruck vs. Porsche 911 Drag Race! (This Time It’s Not Rigged). The Tesla is towing a Porsche 911 while racing another Porsche 911.

THAT WAS TUESDAY — 51 IS SET FOR TONIGHT: SpaceX launches 50th Falcon 9 rocket of 2024 on Starlink mission.

FLORIDA MAN FRIDAY [VIP]: He Was Found Guilty of Grand Theft… Houses? “It’s time for your much-needed break from the serious news, and this week we have the curious case of the man who stole houses, instant karma for a Pokemon shoplifter, and Utah Man’s failed attempt at playing possum.”

READER FAVORITE: FLYBIRD Weight Bench, Adjustable Strength Training Bench. #CommissionEarned

THIS IS NOT INDICATIVE OF A BOOMING ECONOMY: Walmart gains high-income shoppers as elevated prices persist.

STILL A FEW BUGS IN THE SELF-DRIVING SYSTEM: NHTSA Investigating Waymo for Collisions With Stationary Objects and Unsafe Driving.

WHEN YOU’VE LOST CNN…: Even CNN Thinks That Michael Cohen’s Testimony Was a Gift for Trump.

THE VALUE OF EXERCISE: Consistent exercise changes how saturated fat is used by the body, study finds.

THIS IS WAS CNN:

Per TV Newser when compared to one year ago:

During primetime, Fox News was up by +40% in total viewers and +33% in the A25-54 demo.

In primetime, CNN was down -27% in total viewers and -39% in the demo.

— Joe Concha (@JoeConchaTV) May 16, 2024

Something that can’t go on forever will stop.

I’M EXPECTING A SPACE-SHATTERING KABOOM: ‘Once-in-a-lifetime’ exploding star expected to be visible before October.

SARAH HOYT’S SHOCKED FACE HAS BEEN TAKEN TO AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION: More Shady Biden Accounts Have Been Discovered.

WELL, GOOD: Roche’s experimental obesity drug shows promising early stage results.